Salutes, Tributes, Smiles

Well, it wouldn't be right if I don't commemorate a few people who've made a difference in my life. Harvey Korman's gone, dead at 81, and as Mel Brooks put it, "The world is a more serious place." I totally agree.

This week is an anniversary of many deaths, people I loved, people I laughed with, people who understood me. The person, not the persona.

Harvey, have a great time in heaven. You make me want to watch "As the Stomach Turns" right now.

Nancy Pfifferling, one of the spanish teachers in my high school, dead of breast cancer on May 31, 2003. I loved the way you had a mock funeral for the letter "j" every September. Black veil, dirge, white gloves and all. You were one helluva lady.

Harryetta Peterka, hit by a bike messenger on May 28, 1998. I'm sorry we only worked together three weeks and one day. I looked at the clock when you went down that morning and thought a strange thing, "It's 11.20 am. What if that's the last time I see her today?" I truly am psychic, because that was the last time I saw her ever. I've almost been clipped time and time again by speeding bikes in the last decade. I always look up at the sky and say out loud, "Thank you, Harryetta." You were absolutely loved by all. I realized it when Gretchen Ham called the school and asked about you. I had to tell her what happened and she cried horribly over the phone. I had to calm her down from Michigan. I hate phones, I always did. That day was particularly hard. I miss your curls and the tilt of your head when you laughed. It was 21 days, but I remember. So does Meg.

Olive, my sweet kitty. Also taken from mammary cancer on May 31, 2003. You were my pretty girl, gone at age 9. My youngest cat ever. I'm sorry the chemo didn't work. I remember how you cried when I took you into the vet. I was only trying to save you.

And Dear Old Dad. You'll never leave me. Mom called this morning to tell me she dreamt of you and me. I was a baby in the crib and you were smiling, standing over me. Those were the happier moments in your life, before it all went to hell. Bills and problems and rent and such. Real life always got in your way. They found you still and cold at the old New York Post building on the fourth floor, facing the water street side. They thought you were asleep. You were. Forever. I walked by there yesterday, sat on the bench and looked up at those windows. I still wonder exactly what part of the fourth floor you were on. What window? Ray Walsh wouldn't let me in. Now the plant's in the Bronx, that building is a storage facility, and I'll never know. Maybe I don't have to. I'm just torn that I never got to say goodbye properly.

I stand and salute. I loved you all. I'm a little bit lost, a little bit older. Not shocked that the gray is showing in my hair and the unanswered questions in my eyes. It's very hard to look in the mirror and catch your conscience staring back at you. It's happening more often. I'm starting to avoid that mirror.

Goddamn it, there's just never enough time. There's never enough money, but even a clock couldn't save me right now.

I really, really hate the end of May.

I'm Too Old and Too Expensive. Slow, too

Well, now I shall speak of my firing (the third job in my life, ever) from SuperMac, a place I will never walk into again. And Girly Boy, the wimp who hired me, will have to deal with the consequences.

Let's review. The head chef, really liked me. In fact, he was the one who recommended me. He was the one who got me the job, not the 27-28-29 year old "owner" who is afraid to say he's the owner because (as I was told by other workers) he is insecure about having a business so young. He is also flippant, can't make decisions, can't spell nor remember anyone's name correctly, and basically is rude, thoughtless and a real dick (that word came up at least 10 times in the three weeks that I was there.)

So, I witness three things: 1) he's not letting us have tips from an online service called seamless web. That's illegal. I make mention of it, he immediately has a blank look on his face. 2) I cannot handle 35 lunch customers by myself with the degree of 'finesse' he requires --which is really perfection, a concept that humanly does not exist--and this pisses him off. Meanwhile, there is another worker there who regularly barks orders at people, is defensive, and completely ADHD. But! As long as the work gets done, who cares, right? I realize I am working for Sad Sack and Baldo's younger prodigy. Not pretty, but I need the tips. 3) Everyone and anyone, with the exception of the chef I like, is younger and in the dark about these things.

I get along with the customers, a few mistakes here and there, hey? It's a learning curve, I'll get it.

So, payday comes along, I get "summoned" up to the office, which is a roach-infested, dark storeroom. It looks like a chamber out of a Dickens novel. I get the speech about "If you're not up to speed, I can't keep you. You're older than me anyway, you can find anything." So, I'm old--discrimination, anyone? Illegal comment #1. "I'm paying you more than the others." Illegal comment #2. If this boy had a problem with my agreed-upon salary, then why didn't he say so at the interview? It's called negotiation. Then, to top it off, I get a check without the taxes taken out. More money for me to worry about at the end of the year. Get in line, people, IRS, Uncle Sam, everyone! I'm fucking broke. I'm at -12 and it's going to take me at least another year to get to zero. Not even a positive, but just zero as a basic balance. Girly Boy had my paperwork, but didn't have "time" to put it in. He had three weeks, but his life is more important than mine.

What do I do with a so-called boss who hires me with a smile on his face, tells me I'm doing a good job, refuses to train me properly, accidentally throws out all the paperwork I had on top of the register--which my welfare caseworker got me into hot water about--and then turns on me as if I'm the plague? Are we talking narcissist, Gemini or simply young, rich, trust fund bastard who simply doesn't give a fuck about my outcome. YUP! That's the answer.

So, I work out my last four hours. The last four hours of which I don't even know if I'll get paid. But, I'm nice to all the customers, I clean up (relatively speaking), and I have a knot in my stomach that had me so angry and so upset that I couldn't even count the drawer. I know how to count a drawer. It's pretty easy. I did it with great aplomb when I was 16 and I did it again for all these weeks and at Virgin, but I swear to you the math didn't make sense. I walked out at 10:04 pm and wanted to vomit. I stood outside the gates of St. John the Baptist church on 31st street doubled over, waiting to vomit, but it didn't happen. A total stranger asked me if I was ok. I said no, I just lost my job in the most underhanded way possible and that I was feeling sick. Do you want me to get help, he asked. No, I said, this will pass. It will always pass. Thank you for being a human being.

And how will this pass. I will tell you.

1) Those tips withheld are illegal. I am going to the Dept of Taxation and Finance on this little wussy twit.

2)Then, the EEOC, since I was told this is more fitting to a college student. Translation? You've graduated. What are you doing here. Um, you hired me, you stupid asshole. That's why I'm here. I need a job, dickhead.

3) I'm sure the Attorney General would like to know--as well as the better business bureau--that he's abusing immigrants (he made one chef CRY last week, I was there and I have two witnesses. Overworked and underpaid. How Tom Curley of him!) and that he's fucking teenagers out of their tips.

So, now I'm begging Virgin MegaStore to give me an extra day to hit 32 hours per week. I will also have to go back to craigslist to see if I can pick up another job, and start listing Roxxlander's vinyl that he gave to me last week. All 7 boxes of collectibles, goodies, and whatnot.

Right now, in the distance, I hear church bells playing what sounds like Debussy. Perhaps this is a sign. So much for trying to save my ass with 6 day a week work. Always, as always, I get screwed.

But those that are still at that place will not. I want my last four hours and then I will bury that bastard.

There are three things you do NOT do in this life.

1) you never hit your mother.

2) you don't rat out your friends.

3) you NEVER, EVER fuck with an Irish woman. We will come after you. Blood, guts, and glory. For us, not you.

Yes, kiddies....the bitch is back!

It's My Name, Too

A brain tumor. May is the month of Kennedys gone. I lost one of my jobs today, not that I liked it and will explain later, but also my father's death anniversary is coming up, and Teddy's got a brain tumor.

Here, in its full glory, is the famous concession speech from August 12, 1980.

"[AUTHENTICITY CERTIFIED: Text version below transcribed directly from audio]

Thanks very much, Barbara Mikulski, for your very eloquent, your eloquent introduction. Distinguished legislator, great spokeswoman for economic democracy and social justice in this country, I thank you for your eloquent introduction.

Well, things worked out a little different from the way I thought, but let me tell you, I still love New York.

My fellow Democrats and my fellow Americans, I have come here tonight not to argue as a candidate but to affirm a cause.

I'm asking you -- I am asking you to renew the commitment of the Democratic Party to economic justice.

I am asking you to renew our commitment to a fair and lasting prosperity that can put America back to work.

This is the cause that brought me into the campaign and that sustained me for nine months across a 100,000 miles in 40 different states. We had our losses, but the pain of our defeats is far, far less than the pain of the people that I have met.

We have learned that it is important to take issues seriously, but never to take ourselves too seriously.

The serious issue before us tonight is the cause for which the Democratic Party has stood in its finest hours, the cause that keeps our Party young and makes it, in the second century of its age, the largest political Party in this republic and the longest lasting political Party on this planet.

Our cause has been, since the days of Thomas Jefferson, the cause of the common man and the common woman.

Our commitment has been, since the days of Andrew Jackson, to all those he called "the humble members of society -- the farmers, mechanics, and laborers." On this foundation we have defined our values, refined our policies, and refreshed our faith.

Now I take the unusual step of carrying the cause and the commitment of my campaign personally to our national convention. I speak out of a deep sense of urgency about the anguish and anxiety I have seen across America.

I speak out of a deep belief in the ideals of the Democratic Party, and in the potential of that Party and of a President to make a difference. And I speak out of a deep trust in our capacity to proceed with boldness and a common vision that will feel and heal the suffering of our time and the divisions of our Party.

The economic plank of this platform on its face concerns only material things, but it is also a moral issue that I raise tonight. It has taken many forms over many years. In this campaign and in this country that we seek to lead, the challenge in 1980 is to give our voice and our vote for these fundamental democratic principles.

Let us pledge that we will never misuse unemployment, high interest rates, and human misery as false weapons against inflation.

Let us pledge that employment will be the first priority of our economic policy.

Let us pledge that there will be security for all those who are now at work, and let us pledge that there will be jobs for all who are out of work; and we will not compromise on the issues of jobs.

These are not simplistic pledges. Simply put, they are the heart of our tradition, and they have been the soul of our Party across the generations. It is the glory and the greatness of our tradition to speak for those who have no voice, to remember those who are forgotten, to respond to the frustrations and fulfill the aspirations of all Americans seeking a better life in a better land.

We dare not forsake that tradition.

We cannot let the great purposes of the Democratic Party become the bygone passages of history.

We must not permit the Republicans to seize and run on the slogans of prosperity. We heard the orators at their convention all trying to talk like Democrats. They proved that even Republican nominees can quote Franklin Roosevelt to their own purpose.

The Grand Old Party thinks it has found a great new trick, but 40 years ago an earlier generation of Republicans attempted the same trick. And Franklin Roosevelt himself replied, "Most Republican leaders have bitterly fought and blocked the forward surge of average men and women in their pursuit of happiness. Let us not be deluded that overnight those leaders have suddenly become the friends of average men and women."

"You know," he continued, "very few of us are that gullible." And four years later when the Republicans tried that trick again, Franklin Roosevelt asked, "Can the Old Guard pass itself off as the New Deal? I think not. We have all seen many marvelous stunts in the circus, but no performing elephant could turn a handspring without falling flat on its back."

The 1980 Republican convention was awash with crocodile tears for our economic distress, but it is by their long record and not their recent words that you shall know them.

The same Republicans who are talking about the crisis of unemployment have nominated a man who once said, and I quote, "Unemployment insurance is a prepaid vacation plan for freeloaders." And that nominee is no friend of labor.

The same Republicans who are talking about the problems of the inner cities have nominated a man who said, and I quote, "I have included in my morning and evening prayers every day the prayer that the Federal Government not bail out New York." And that nominee is no friend of this city and our great urban centers across this nation.

The same Republicans who are talking about security for the elderly have nominated a man who said just four years ago that "Participation in social security should be made voluntary." And that nominee is no friend of the senior citizens of this nation.

The same Republicans who are talking about preserving the environment have nominated a man who last year made the preposterous statement, and I quote, "Eighty percent of our air pollution comes from plants and trees." And that nominee is no friend of the environment.

And the same Republicans who are invoking Franklin Roosevelt have nominated a man who said in 1976, and these are his exact words, "Fascism was really the basis of the New Deal." And that nominee whose name is Ronald Reagan has no right to quote Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

The great adventures which our opponents offer is a voyage into the past. Progress is our heritage, not theirs. What is right for us as Democrats is also the right way for Democrats to win.

The commitment I seek is not to outworn views but to old values that will never wear out. Programs may sometimes become obsolete, but the ideal of fairness always endures. Circumstances may change, but the work of compassion must continue. It is surely correct that we cannot solve problems by throwing money at them, but it is also correct that we dare not throw out our national problems onto a scrap heap of inattention and indifference. The poor may be out of political fashion, but they are not without human needs. The middle class may be angry, but they have not lost the dream that all Americans can advance together.

The demand of our people in 1980 is not for smaller government or bigger government but for better government. Some say that government is always bad and that spending for basic social programs is the root of our economic evils. But we reply: The present inflation and recession cost our economy 200 billion dollars a year. We reply: Inflation and unemployment are the biggest spenders of all.

The task of leadership in 1980 is not to parade scapegoats or to seek refuge in reaction, but to match our power to the possibilities of progress. While others talked of free enterprise, it was the Democratic Party that acted and we ended excessive regulation in the airline and trucking industry, and we restored competition to the marketplace. And I take some satisfaction that this deregulation legislation that I sponsored and passed in the Congress of the United States.

As Democrats we recognize that each generation of Americans has a rendezvous with a different reality. The answers of one generation become the questions of the next generation. But there is a guiding star in the American firmament. It is as old as the revolutionary belief that all people are created equal, and as clear as the contemporary condition of Liberty City and the South Bronx. Again and again Democratic leaders have followed that star and they have given new meaning to the old values of liberty and justice for all.

We are the Party -- We are the Party of the New Freedom, the New Deal, and the New Frontier. We have always been the Party of hope. So this year let us offer new hope, new hope to an America uncertain about the present, but unsurpassed in its potential for the future.

To all those who are idle in the cities and industries of America let us provide new hope for the dignity of useful work. Democrats have always believed that a basic civil right of all Americans is that their right to earn their own way. The Party of the people must always be the Party of full employment.

To all those who doubt the future of our economy, let us provide new hope for the reindustrialization of America. And let our vision reach beyond the next election or the next year to a new generation of prosperity. If we could rebuild Germany and Japan after World War II, then surely we can reindustrialize our own nation and revive our inner cities in the 1980's.

To all those who work hard for a living wage let us provide new hope that their price of their employment shall not be an unsafe workplace and a death at an earlier age.

To all those who inhabit our land from California to the New York Island, from the Redwood Forest to the Gulf stream waters, let us provide new hope that prosperity shall not be purchased by poisoning the air, the rivers, and the natural resources that are the greatest gift of this continent. We must insist that our children and our grandchildren shall inherit a land which they can truly call America the beautiful.

To all those who see the worth of their work and their savings taken by inflation, let us offer new hope for a stable economy. We must meet the pressures of the present by invoking the full power of government to master increasing prices. In candor, we must say that the Federal budget can be balanced only by policies that bring us to a balanced prosperity of full employment and price restraint.

And to all those overburdened by an unfair tax structure, let us provide new hope for real tax reform. Instead of shutting down classrooms, let us shut off tax shelters. Instead of cutting out school lunches, let us cut off tax subsidies for expensive business lunches that are nothing more than food stamps for the rich.

The tax cut of our Republican opponents takes the name of tax reform in vain. It is a wonderfully Republican idea that would redistribute income in the wrong direction. It's good news for any of you with incomes over 200,000 dollars a year. For the few of you, it offers a pot of gold worth 14,000 dollars. But the Republican tax cut is bad news for the middle income families. For the many of you, they plan a pittance of 200 dollars a year, and that is not what the Democratic Party means when we say tax reform.

The vast majority of Americans cannot afford this panacea from a Republican nominee who has denounced the progressive income tax as the invention of Karl Marx. I am afraid he has confused Karl Marx with Theodore Roosevelt -- that obscure Republican president who sought and fought for a tax system based on ability to pay. Theodore Roosevelt was not Karl Marx, and the Republican tax scheme is not tax reform.

Finally, we cannot have a fair prosperity in isolation from a fair society. So I will continue to stand for a national health insurance. We must -- We must not surrender -- We must not surrender to the relentless medical inflation that can bankrupt almost anyone and that may soon break the budgets of government at every level. Let us insist on real controls over what doctors and hospitals can charge, and let us resolve that the state of a family's health shall never depend on the size of a family's wealth.

The President, the Vice President, the members of Congress have a medical plan that meets their needs in full, and whenever senators and representatives catch a little cold, the Capitol physician will see them immediately, treat them promptly, fill a prescription on the spot. We do not get a bill even if we ask for it, and when do you think was the last time a member of Congress asked for a bill from the Federal Government? And I say again, as I have before, if health insurance is good enough for the President, the Vice President, the Congress of the United States, then it's good enough for you and every family in America.

There were some -- There were some who said we should be silent about our differences on issues during this convention, but the heritage of the Democratic Party has been a history of democracy. We fight hard because we care deeply about our principles and purposes. We did not flee this struggle. We welcome the contrast with the empty and expedient spectacle last month in Detroit where no nomination was contested, no question was debated, and no one dared to raise any doubt or dissent.

Democrats can be proud that we chose a different course and a different platform.

We can be proud that our Party stands for investment in safe energy, instead of a nuclear future that may threaten the future itself. We must not permit the neighborhoods of America to be permanently shadowed by the fear of another Three Mile Island.

We can be proud that our Party stands for a fair housing law to unlock the doors of discrimination once and for all. The American house will be divided against itself so long as there is prejudice against any American buying or renting a home.

And we can be proud that our Party stands plainly and publicly and persistently for the ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment.

Women hold their rightful place at our convention, and women must have their rightful place in the Constitution of the United States. On this issue we will not yield; we will not equivocate; we will not rationalize, explain, or excuse. We will stand for E.R.A. and for the recognition at long last that our nation was made up of founding mothers as well as founding fathers.

A fair prosperity and a just society are within our vision and our grasp, and we do not have every answer. There are questions not yet asked, waiting for us in the recesses of the future. But of this much we can be certain because it is the lesson of all of our history: Together a President and the people can make a difference. I have found that faith still alive wherever I have traveled across this land. So let us reject the counsel of retreat and the call to reaction. Let us go forward in the knowledge that history only helps those who help themselves.

There will be setbacks and sacrifices in the years ahead; but I am convinced that we as a people are ready to give something back to our country in return for all it has given to us.

Let this -- Let this be our commitment: Whatever sacrifices must be made will be shared and shared fairly. And let this be our confidence: At the end of our journey and always before us shines that ideal of liberty and justice for all.

In closing, let me say a few words to all those that I have met and to all those who have supported me at this convention and across the country. There were hard hours on our journey, and often we sailed against the wind. But always we kept our rudder true, and there were so many of you who stayed the course and shared our hope. You gave your help; but even more, you gave your hearts.

And because of you, this has been a happy campaign. You welcomed Joan, me, and our family into your homes and neighborhoods, your churches, your campuses, your union halls. And when I think back of all the miles and all the months and all the memories, I think of you. And I recall the poet's words, and I say: "What golden friends I had."

Among you, my golden friends across this land, I have listened and learned.

I have listened to Kenny Dubois, a glassblower in Charleston, West Virginia, who has ten children to support but has lost his job after 35 years, just three years short of qualifying for his pension.

I have listened to the Trachta family who farm in Iowa and who wonder whether they can pass the good life and the good earth on to their children.

I have listened to the grandmother in East Oakland who no longer has a phone to call her grandchildren because she gave it up to pay the rent on her small apartment.

I have listened to young workers out of work, to students without the tuition for college, and to families without the chance to own a home.

I have seen the closed factories and the stalled assembly lines of Anderson, Indiana and South Gate, California, and I have seen too many, far too many idle men and women desperate to work.

I have seen too many, far too many working families desperate to protect the value of their wages from the ravages of inflation.

Yet I have also sensed a yearning for a new hope among the people in every state where I have been.

And I have felt it in their handshakes, I saw it in their faces, and I shall never forget the mothers who carried children to our rallies.

I shall always remember the elderly who have lived in an America of high purpose and who believe that it can all happen again.

Tonight, in their name, I have come here to speak for them. And for their sake, I ask you to stand with them. On their behalf I ask you to restate and reaffirm the timeless truth of our Party.

I congratulate President Carter on his victory here.

I am -- I am confident that the Democratic Party will reunite on the basis of Democratic principles, and that together we will march towards a Democratic victory in 1980.

And someday, long after this convention, long after the signs come down and the crowds stop cheering, and the bands stop playing, may it be said of our campaign that we kept the faith.

May it be said of our Party in 1980 that we found our faith again.

And may it be said of us, both in dark passages and in bright days, in the words of Tennyson that my brothers quoted and loved, and that have special meaning for me now:

"I am a part of all that I have met
To [Tho] much is taken, much abides
That which we are, we are --
One equal temper of heroic hearts
Strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield."

For me, a few hours ago, this campaign came to an end.

For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die."