Places I Still Hate

Or, should I say, give me continual problems. Staten Island, New Jersey, Queens/Brooklyn border. Still. WTF? And people I enjoy move there and lose their minds. Why? Is it the water? I seriously wonder...

Little Gifts

that's all you get. Nothing more. Maybe it should be coffee. So you can wake the fuck up.

Prince - Joy In Repetition (Live Video) Greatest Guitar Solo Of All Time!

Can I Play This Guitar?

he asked this at the superbowl in 2007. I'd like to keep april 20, 2016 going over and over forever just to keep this man alive.

I love you with the bleeding heart of 10000 souls crying out to heaven in tears and desperation. I am nothing without this man. Nothing. And I wasn't much to begin with.

I Almost Believe That They're Real

You were bigger and brighter and whiter than snow. Yes, Robert. So correct. I am.

After two weeks of one good accommodation, one bad accommodation and one (the same one) who saved my ass. I am still sick. I am still lost. I am still spinning. I can't do antibiotics. They make me reel and gag. Vomited again today. I just can't with these pills. I am a disease. I belong no where. Or, at least, that's what I'm told. I am surrounded by people who make me feel like I am a problem while they ignore looking at their's. This is not my shit, it's your's. Stop seeking me out and smearing it on me.

That entire neighborhood had a vibe that was just blackened, diseased and volatile. I bear the physical symptoms of this. I don't want to clean up cat pans and pick up trash and other's waste. I don't. I just don't. I need help. So much help. But it never comes. I need more money. The good jobs don't show. I plead and I beg, but they don't show. This country is not made for people like me anymore. We are slaves. Drones. Used like rubber bands until we snap. And I have. Oh, I have. I will not be blamed for other people's lack of care or stupidity.

I am still in a weak and vulnerable state. My food intake has basically been one meal a day. My urine output has been nothing, which is why I drowned myself in gatorade and pedialyte the other day. Thank God for urgent care. I knew it was there, waiting. Between stress, the meds, bronchitis and these damn quinolone antibiotics? Oh, god, I've been done in.

My emotional needs are simply too much for anyone and I'm starting to snap. I'm starting to break. I cannot control them, I just want to bust out all over. Unfortunately, they come out in anger and no one wants to deal with that. I am too much and shoved into a corner. I have been dismissed, made to feel like waddling shit, made to think that I am a continual problem. I am supposed to minister to everyone and no one does to me? Unless! There are conditions. Always conditions: don't touch, don't feel, don't think or do anything unless it's like US. I am not allowed to be me. FUCK THIS.

I have tried my damndest to be acommodating, pleasant, giving, sweet and caring. FUCK YOU 100 WAYS. Look in the mirror to see why I have left you behind. If I cut you out of my life? Chances are you gave me the scissors.

DON'T FUCKING BLAME ME. I am sick as a dog. A little sympathy. I little empathy. I am tired of walking on eggshells.

And for the record, the tv was NOT broken, you just don't know how to use it. Glad I got home in time before you chucked it into the trash. But I AM THE ONE made to feel stupid?

I cultivated a personality, intelligence and a type of brain that no one appreciates, or wants to use. Okay, I will stay away. I only understand anyway.

Just like heaven...