What the hell was I thinking? I realize I am one of maybe 6 or 7 people over the age of 30. Me wanting to be a "big sis" or "guidance counselor" to those that need it is truly getting lost between lipstick, gossip, hair, piercings and me me me me. I am from a different time, generation and I refuse to dumb down. Bunny Meyer is sweet and cute as a button, but the group she started is giving me grief and headaches. Cassie bolting and Ebony getting thrown out has cemented my decision to leave this group.
My issues? Let's go through them one by one.
1) A closed group should be just that. CLOSED. 18,000+ members and more being added does not mean closed if you keep adding new members. If closed is supposed to mean only certain people see what it written, that's laughable too, since 18,000 people at any given time can email, cut, paste and basically bitch, moan, trade and gossip anything I (or anyone else) may have written down. That's pretty public, anyway you slice it. The various permutations of how many combos of people can see what I wrote is baffling. I am also known for being blunt, honest, intellectual, and using the life experience I have accrued. I am over 40, some members are as young as 12. Swamp is the word--messy, infested, murky and a little bit scary. What lurks? I don't want to know anymore.
2) Bunny started off as a paranormal blogger. That is how I found her on youtube. Then, she wasn't. Screwing around with ouija boards will get you in trouble every time. I have learned enough about the occult to know NOT to go near them. Her personality made the switchover to sort-of-beauty vlogger a bit easier, but I know actual makeup artists. Michael James, Queen of Blending, MadeYewLook, Petrilude and Disco Lipstick are all accomplished makeup artists. It is their career. Going from ghosts to Ruby Woo does not a makeup artist make. Still, she is as entertaining as any standup comedian and her facial expressions are priceless. My problem is not with her, it's with what this "family" has become.
3) The incessant narcissism of tattoos, piercings and clothes really gets in the way of suicide cries and cutting, which is not only painful to read, but hard to help. It kills me that I cannot reach through a computer and cradle some of the desperate members in their bad days. I realize this current generation is tech-obsessed, body-modified and fixated on self-portraits, but PLEASE already, some girls really need help!
4) The Ebony and Hope situation? Well, I didn't have a problem with either one of them, but then again, my skin is pretty thick. I can't say the same for some of you. Putting your photos and tattoos and piercings out there, in my opinion, should prepare you for what some people will lash back with. Apparently, this is not the case.
5) Trashing the admins, Cassie in particular, is a shitty thing to do. They are not paid, they have almost 19,000 of you to wade through. Mean Girls sarcasm doesn't help anyone. I will always lash out and put someone in their place, but that is ME, not the admins. They are required to keep a much more low-key and professional demeanor. Calling them names, cursing them out and acting like middle school brats, which YES, some of you are, is reason enough that I will never blame her for bolting.
Me being personally attacked by Jesus Junkies, southern Walmart "types", and having my intelligence and religious preferences questioned has also gotten on my nerves. I am from New York City, an international city. A beacon of intellect, culture, art, history and refinement. Turn on the tv right now: I guarantee you anywhere from one to five shows has NYC as its background. We cultivate people of a certain type, a type that leaves its mark. Being attacked from children whose hometowns cannot be found on a map cracks me up. A wolf does not concern itself with the chatter of sheep. And I really must be honest: I left the teaching profession in a classroom setting because I could no longer stand the 7th graders that saw fit to make my life a living hell. I did much better tutoring one-on-one for the shy, the creative, the quietly glowing kids that were branded as geeks, emo, nerds and misfits. A group-think mentality won't save you in the end. You think you know everything about life? About the world? About me? YOU DON'T. Grow up.
In my life, I have dealt with a scraping-by working class life, a fractured family filled with addicts, domestic violence, the loss of my fertility, some very bad relationships, shitty jobs, bad bosses, rotten roommates, crappy apartments, hunger, despair, three cancer scares and fibromyalgia. I am a strong woman.
While I have chosen to speak to some of you outside the swamp, I will be requesting no more of you as facebook "friends." The few I have are strong and mature like I am.
A thick skin is what some of you are going to need. Once you get past high school, no more games. My European swampies might understand this a bit more, since americans seem to be a bit more "sheltered" and do not possess a second language or knowledge of a world or any experience beyond USA borders. This is sad, but not uncommon. It's just that I can't take it anymore.
And I don't have to. I will miss some of you, you know who you are. My heart and spirit goes out to those who cry in pain, loss, despair and loneliness at a difficult life and daily grief. Your sensitivity is worth something.
To the little bitchy girls? You remind me of the brats that made my grammar and high school years some of the most abhorrent of my life. Those memories haven't faded despite my 24-year anniversary of leaving high school.
There is no reason I need to continue this facade.
Good luck, gators. You're gonna need it.
Cassie, I'm sorry.
Ebony and Hope? Keep on shining.
Peace, love and whiskers...
Buh Bye!!
