A Spew Just for Meg

"Where can I go to hear you spew?" God, I love ya, Meg. today's post on Facebook: "why are you a democrat?" my answer

--"because I can think for myself beyond a 2000 yr old book. Because I care about other people's suffering (and they are even more than the last 5 yrs!) Because I am not a sociopath. Because I don't believe in greed. Because I am a woman who was stalked, assaulted, and discriminated in both relationships and in jobs. Because I have worked three times more than my corporate overlords who fired me anyway and I still got paid 1/16th of what they made. When I had a nervous breakdown because of this? I was called a "liar" and a "malingerer"--that's a fancy legal term for "You're full of shit."

Because it will be 2015 and I am tired of hearing 'why don't you just lose 10 or 50 lbs and just get married already?" Because if these right wing scumbag f*cks have their way, anyone who does not make at least $150k per year will be lined up and shot because we are "useless eaters and takers." Because I believe in literacy. Because my parents broke their asses to give me a good education. Because I come from a news family (Brooklyn Eagle, Daily Mirror, Daily News, NY Times) and I don't give one lame f*ck about the size of Kim KarTRASHian's ass when I turn on CNN.

Because I am kind to animals and the elderly and don't want them harmed, starved, poisoned or shot. Because I can't have children and I want to see a world with possibilities and not slave labor for the children that have been born. Because I want all my gay, lesbian, trans, asexual or pansexual friends who embrace adrogyny and creativity to be able to make the world beautiful, not cookie cutter.

I am a progressive liberal democrat because I give a huge heaping sh*t about humanity and I will fight to the death before someone takes mine. I would die for my beliefs and when the revolution comes, I will take a bullet for someone else's passion and freedom. My life has been tricky, but I want others to live smoothly."

Oh, Robin

How I feel every time I hear the word "actor" and Robin's name. This movie is sacred to me for this one reason. It also reminds me of why I sought out Robert Sean Leonard and Ethan Hawke's work in Malaparte during 1993-95. Depression is not a joke. Your sorrows can destroy you.

Don't Drive Angry...10 Years Later

Well, for those of you that love good movies, once again I am referencing Bill Murray's masterpiece, "Groundhog Day." That's what today is. It's also the weekend of Imbolc/Candlemas, and Mercury Rx (retrograde officially begins.)

Con Ed fucked me over once and for all and let the five-year clock run out. I knew I was done for when I got a shitty and very vague email from Irsa Gabriel, Unhappy Head of Recruitment, on October 21. I think my honesty regarding my fibromyalgia and all the medications I take resulted in someone adding up the calculator for 1) days I might need to take off or cut short; and 2) how much my meds and docs would cost the company's health plan. This was also a union position, and they probably chose someone who knew nothing about unions, management or had any intelligence in particular.

So, now I start again. This sucks because people who've basically been out of a 9 to 5 gig don't really seem too engaging or dazzling to any office gig. But! I do not want an office gig. I would like to go back to tutoring, which is what I thought I would do at the time of my 2009 eviction. I just can't deal with anything else. I worked so hard for my degree and while I utilized the news and publishing side of it quite frequently, I barely used what little (discarded) teaching experience I accrued. I miss my little Chinese kids. They were fun. We would play Madlibs and write silly stories and free-write what summer reading would be. I also told them to define why they loved their favorite books.

When I went back to 7215 New Utrecht, the place was gone. It seems Miss Liong couldn't keep the facade going. I told her about Ting San and other Chinese language newspapers that would put ads in Mandarin and Cantonese for her to attract new students from Grand Street, but she was having none of it. She actually believed handing out flyers and fudging numbers to get state funding would save her little "school." I can't say I didn't enjoy seeing the place gutted with NYC construction permits taped inside the window, but they could have done much better. They shoved me out, I lost, and as such, missed my only chance to make $40k when Con Ed initially called me to join a class on October 1, 2009. Once again, my asynchronous life shows me how badly out of step I am with everyone else. Since my birth: I was born 12 days early. Never the right moment, second, minute or instinct. NEVER.

What else is new?

Jesus Christ, it never changes. The only thing I am looking forward to is Johnny Weir's voice overs during this Olympics. I thought he'd be competing, but a lack of a quad jump seriously destroyed his chances. Whatever. The federation passed on him years ago. Makes me kinda happy I'm no longer part of the Skating Club of NY. Too much politicking.

I am middle-aged and quite tired. The only thing that has kept up is my fibromyalgia, my hatred of this heat, and my hopes to get the hell out of here all the while bitching left and right about the shitty red-state nonsense I am STILL stuck in. I can honestly say the South Shall NOT rise again. FL and TX suck and should be lopped off the American map like two diseased, gangrenous limbs.

I think I am going to start blogging again. I've held in a lot for a looooong time. Happy Horse Year, folks, it's good to be back!