Passive Aggression 101 (a/k/a Unfuckinbelievable Rudeness)



Ok, lesson plan, kids. First, make sure a manipulative princess takes your Old Navy card and blows $230 on whatever her heart desires. Never mind that she's not your girlfriend or even blowing you, she just flirts madly and this counteracts your lack of self-esteem. Secondly, make sure that you have no backbone whatsoever. In fact, the only erect thing is your dick since the supposed spine you have is made of jelly. Let this woman--and any other female, for that matter--walk all over you, take advantage, lie, and show nothing but strategy and a forked tongue. "Oh, I've got him trained." Ghetto Cow--one of my favorite people-- used that line with her fiance. This particularly spineless turd (really, spines are optional) married her. Treat a guy like shit and get whatever the fuck you want! But really, I'm being tangential. Back to the lesson, kiddies.



Thirdly, take a group of girls out (including Princess "Trained", of course) and get sucked into paying for everything. Since I witnessed this myself, I mistakenly assumed it was this person's generosity. Little did I know Princess was in the middle of another "training" session. And this other person paid for all of it, including flowers at the end of the night. Umm, red roses are nice, but horribly cliche. Especially when it's an obvious ploy to be liked. Or, maybe this was the end of the training session? Circus animals get a treat when their lessons are done, so is this a reverse "thank you"? I've no idea.



Once you think you've really had enough, drive out to god knows where the next day after being completely and utterly exhausted, but hey! Don't say anything about this to the people you're supposed to go out with that night. Then, pick everyone up, continue to say nothing, drop everyone off, and pretend to find a parking spot. After a few of these people have already gone to the planned venue and paid to get in, stand outside with a few of them (especially ones with platinum-limit credit cards) and "politely" relay to the platinum card holder that you're "not coming in" because you're "tired and had a long day" leaving 2 of these people at this venue completely stranded. And that's at the beginning of the night!



When Princess Train asks "Are you going to be ok?" one hour later instead of offering a ride or a way to get halfway home since her pupil isn't there and she is obviously out of place, bored, and has no idea what kind of music she's listening to, answer "Yes, I'll be fine." Even though you're not fine, it's 12:30 when you decide to leave, you walk halfway to your friend's house so at least she'll be safe, and you need to use the bathroom. Keep telling yourself "Yes, I'll be fine" as you stand there alone at a bus stop at 1:03 am, 1:15 am, 1:30 am, and 1:42 am when the bus finally comes because a) there is no other mode of safe transportation at that hour; and b) you don't have enough money to afford car service. Maybe if you have platinum credit cards you do, but you don't. You're blue collar, you work, and you're proud of this underneath it all. You get home at 2:32 am, but this doesn't bother you because you have principles and would never treat another human being like neglected rubbish. People who have money are apparently EXEMPT from such rules. But this lesson is not really about accounting, kiddies, just accountability. Sociology is a great teacher of important matters, kids. Some of you will learn this as time goes by. Really, it's a great help.



So, that is the lesson, kids: do one thing, say another. Say another thing, but mean something else. Never mind, though, since behavior has a way of speaking for itself. So, it's not really what you say, it's what you do that is GLARINGLY OBVIOUS AFTER ALL IS SAID AND DONE. No pun intended. You might wanna study, kids! You never know when life might throw you a pop quiz.



As for the answer to that question, "Are you going to be ok?" Absolutely. As soon as I figure out ways to keep rude assholes like the ones I just described far the fuck away from me.



And friends who offer to wait with me at bus stops. ;-)