Now that's going a bit too far...



Man's Finger Stuck in Pay Phone for Hours

EAST ST. LOUIS, Ill. (AP) _ A man and a pay phone were rushed to a

hospital after he got his finger stuck in the coin return slot while trying

to retrieve his 50 cents. Emergency room doctors gave Emanuel Fleming a

painkiller Monday and pried his middle finger loose using a wooden device and

lubricant, ending the three-hour ordeal.



This must be the universe in reverse: I found $1.25 in quarters in a payphone around this time last year. I was stupefied!

Moving onward...



The most rotten dream came to me last night: walking through a semi-familiar street, I stopped to realize that my skates were not part of the bags I was carrying. I panicked and thought 'well, they were here a minute ago.' WTF??? Slowly, my clothes started disappearing, too---first my socks, then my pants, my jacket, my shirt. All I had on were undies and my backpack. They literally dissolved! I have no idea what this means, but it did get my ass outta bed this morning good and early.



I felt a huge push to rush out much earlier than normal since the mental defectives at the Dept. of Transportation ixnayed

the car-pool rule through the Brooklyn tunnel, which the X27 passes into. What does this mean? Let's see...pre-9/11, I remember (and not fondly) waits of up to 25 minutes or more trying to get past hordes of cars, even in the HOV lane. Why? One person driving was not a "rule". This made any "flow" stop dead. Now, since the wonderful complacency of "Al Qaeda won't kick our ass again" is coming into people's minds, the DOT has decided they don't want to hear bitching and moaning from SUV loving yuppies and assholes who don't want to carpool. Gee, someone's feelings are hurt, or these bastards simply don't want to answer the phone, so let's just repeal this rule from 6-10 am, and fuck up traffic like it used to be. As a result, I could barely CROSS the street, let alone get to my bus this morning, 20 minutes early. Why? Tons of people were waiting to get on the BQE ramp at 65th St. I HIT TRAFFIC BEFORE I WAS EVEN EXPECTING TRAFFIC. God forbid there's an accident (it's only a matter of time, really) or someone slows down and shifts lanes (causing an...er ACCIDENT), this will only add 30 more minutes to my trip, which will take my travel time from 1 hour and 15 minutes to 1 hour and 45 minutes, waiting, huffing, cursing, and sweating included. But what do I know? I'm just a stupid sheep who goes along with the MTA and DOT's "guidelines." Guidelines!!! That's a contradiction if ever I heard one.



In other news, annoying people still abound---will the hangups stop on my phone? Will people who secretly hate me change their blogs/websites (yes, former neighbor, I know you and your husband have one, it's called "google")? Can I get through the holidays in one piece without any sniping whatsoever? Damned if I know....



Stay tuned, kiddies! Things are about to get batty.