Someone in Tanzania just won the lottery because my luck sucks

Yes, kiddies. That is how the cosmic balance of the world is achieved. No $1,000 for me, in fact, my credit card has been partially blocked. Why? In my infinitely senile overwraught state, I forgot to send a March payment. That means double and a half next month.

And a nice blunder on my credit report.

The same credit report that some asshole would like to get their hands on to be me (how frightening) since Blockbuster has some strange charge that STILL hasn't been taken off. Like I'd actually rent "White Chicks"? If I wanna see a white chick, I'll either bleach a baby duck for Easter or look in the mirror. GOD!!!

And yes, my faithful co-worker has been hired by a new internet company taking a chance in New York to the tune of $50K. Baldo, the evil strain, looked at her and smiled as he said, "Well, I would have turned you over eventually." "Turn over" is a nifty HR phrase for "gotten rid of you." Sweet guy, huh? I wish this man death. If a former evil bitch at my previous job can have a heart attack? This guy's got something even better comin' at him! Hope I'm around to hear about it. Aren't narcissists fun? Nandy keeps passing by my desk to try and get me to look at him, but nope, attention ain't something I give freely anymore. If I wanted to work with children, I would have stayed an apprentice teacher with 5th graders. That wasn't for me, and neither is this hellhole.

I've also found out the group I went to at Winston staffing is basically ignoring me. I was referred there by a former co-worker (not my internet gal) who was tall, thin, fey, and pretty. I am short, fat, sharp, and barely hanging on to anything resembling a "look." The idea that I have to 'dumb-down' and possibly get liposuction to get an agency to take me seriously is beyond my tolerance. Who the fuck ARE these women?

I clicked onto the NY Times job watch the other day and there are plenty of jobs thru Winston. Do these people have no faith in me? Who the hell does? Why do I always have to beg for the crumbs off the cake everyone else gets to have and eat, too? Am I fucking invisible?

All I know is this stress is not good for me. I could barely walk yesterday. Stiff as a board, and basically squatting in my knitting class last night. I got home, put my stuff down, and was unable to pick up Dexter. He was not happy at the loss of our nightly ritual. He's not exactly 3 lbs, but I do dance around with him after checking messages, making tea, and hanging up my coat. What gives? Maybe it's the rain. My joints are swollen.

Hey, at least my head isn't.

Let's see what Baldo's next assistant looks like. I expect one of those monkeys from the careerbuilder commercials to hand me a memo any day now.