Now This I Enjoy.......

Some observers have expressed derisive opinions about Guy Boos, a Wisconsin man who hurled his washing machine down a flight of stairs and pumped it full of bullets with his .25-caliber gun. I, on the other hand, admire those who take out their frustration and rage on inanimate objects rather than on animals or other human beings. That's why I advise you to consider Boos' methodology if you find yourself on the verge of boiling over, Pisces. Don't repress your negative feelings, but find a way to express them that doesn't cost you anything more than a little money.

Courtesy of Rob Breszny, my favorite astrologer. In fact, it's right in line with what happened last night: I forgot my cell phone at work. That's a bit rotten because I use the "alarm" feature as my morning clock. The beep is strong enough to get me out of bed and it has a 10-minute snooze feature rather than the standard 7 or 9 minutes. The current piece o'crap my mom's former friend regifted to me no longer works. So, off to Duane Reade I go.

I find a clock I like with big red digital numbers. And then I realize something...when was this other clock made? I flip over the bottom. "Sept 1994" and the serial number. She gave it to me USED in 2001 when I moved into my apartment. How sweet. I unplug it and dump it in the hall. I'm not going to wreck my own floor by hurling it, I'll save that for garbage time!

I awake to the glorious sound of a radio--CD 101.9. It's nice to hear Najee. The new clock is clear, loud, and the snooze was a perfect 9 minutes. I poured a cuppa joe and looked at the rejected plastic lump with a smirk on my face.

I got dressed, fed the fuzzy monsters (cats, for those of you who don't speak "Annie"), and grabbed the garbage. The plastic reject was in the bag.

IT MADE A THUD WHEN I HURLED IT INTO THE TRASH. The back of it snapped off. Good. Now it's dead, headed for a land heap, and that fat demon from hell no longer has any of her regifted objects in my apartment. HA!

I'm sure Breszny would be proud of me.

And I pet a black cat up the block before I got on the train. Nasty to object, kindness to living things. A good lesson indeed.