Goodbye, My Coney Island Baby

That's a song my father sang to me when I was little. Thor Equities is now ripping Astroland and the surrounding properties apart, which would have hurt him more than the lights and Steeplechase Park closing down for good in 1967.

Sixteen years ago at this time, he was on his way out of rehab for his third time. A nervous breakdown over the death of his two best friends to heart attacks did him in. On September 5, 1991 I made a frantic call to his cousin Jack in NJ to help me drive him out to South Oaks Facility right off Sunrise Highway in Babylon, Long Island. He was admitted and successfully released right around this time. We shared the death of Miles Davis on October 6 with equal sadness.

Two months later, I was working at the South Street Seaport and realized that I had no money to get there to pick up my (measly) paycheck and promptly freaked out near my freshly decorated Christmas tree. It became very clear that I was upset about much more than having no money. Dear Old Dad picked up on this and I expressed my fear of ending up with nothing and no one, including both parents.

"I'm not going to die. I'm not going to leave you anytime soon," he said. I was beyond consoling, literally shaking in the ugly brown chair.

A few years later, I heard this song and realized this mirrored the sentiments he was trying to say. He had exactly nine more Christmases to express that sentiment before I never got the chance to say goodbye.


Lullaby (Goodnight my angel)

Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes
And save these questions for another day
I think I know what you've been asking me
I think you know what I've been trying to say
I promised I would never leave you
And you should always know
Wherever you may go, no matter where you are
I never will be far away

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to sleep
And still so many things I want to say
Remember all the songs you sang for me
When we went sailing on an Emerald Bay
And like a boat out on the ocean
I'm rocking you to sleep
The water's dark and deep inside this ancient heart
You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight my angel, now it's time to dream
And dream how wonderful your life will be
Someday your child may cry, and if you sing this lullabye
Then in your heart, there will always be a part of me
Someday we'll all be gone, but lullabyes go on and on
They never die, that's how you and I will be

© 1993, River of Dreams
Words and music by Billy Joel

Once again, Billy Joel can be counted on for the soundtrack of my life. Some things can't be beautified, only viewed honestly filtered through a wounded memory. Happy Birthday, Dad. I hope you're having a drink with Wick and smiling.