...the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve

"We cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace." -President Obama, Inaugural Speech. January 20, 2009

Peace takes time. Pieces are what we retrieve from the battlefields. All of us, heads, hearts, each torn and ripped a bit less now.

Tuesday night, I slept a peaceful sleep, a set of dreams not menacing nor warning me when I arose Wednesday morning. Can I feel comfortable yet? Is this going to change? How bad are things going to get? It's not over yet. I like what I see so far, but I know the selfish, the sociopathic, the narcissistic and the plain ole greedy and rotten will try something.

It's a sad thing, kiddies: for the last 9 years, all I've come to know is fear. Hesitance and caution not only rule my life, they permeate my thinking, my behavior and my expectations of people. Janis Powell, The Doubtful Killer, The Snake, and Crocky (the blessed trinity of evil at AP) in addition to the Jap Yentas from hell truly ruined my faith in any type of office situation. Not getting paid what I was worth, sometimes not being paid at all (December 1, 2006 anyone???)...oh boooy. I think I may have been permanently scarred. Topple this with Richie Perna the wimp dipshit, the head games and misogyny at Virgin, and the shit mess that is NYC's welfare...no, 'workfare' program and I can't honestly tell you I have any faith that I may be able to find a job I really like that also pays well.

If you really want to know what I've been thinking? Bartending and dog grooming. I spent half my youth in bars. Who can talk to people and make them laugh better than I? And grooming...all I need to do is learn dogs. I already know cats. I've been bathing them since I was a baby. Skills and trades are the future, not corporate America's bullshit, which is what I've become soooo sick of. Without worker protections or the total rewriting of NAFTA, GATT and all the other toxic trade laws that Clinton and Bush rammed down America's throat, we will never prevail. Or, maybe I should say "I". I refuse to think of others included with me, I think that was one of my biggest mistakes. Most people are not like me. They do not read, they do not vote, they do not care. They are sheep. Sheep, my friends, get slaughtered. Not a befitting ending for this lady right here. Not when so many actually wanted it and were taking bets as to whether I would.

It's going on two years and there's nothing out there but temp shit with no benefits. I went to college for this?

My only joy IS watching our new prez (god it feels good to write that) take out what he has with the stroke of his magic and intelligent pen.

37 staring me in the face and I have nothing. This is not what I envisioned. And believe me, I did have a plan.

What price freedom? How much will this cost me....