Well, the last month is finally being unveiled. I understand it now. My crying terribly, in pain, on February 15. The hurt. Loss always appears slow to me, premonition?
I discovered "God", the lost love theme from Purple Rain on youtube. Shocked that Prince's legal team didn't yank it down. Late, late into the night, almost 3 am. I wondered out loud how amazing and yet how lonely it must be to possess such creativity, to keep going, and feel like you can never stop. Is that genius brain a burden? A gift? Or is it strange to be amongst people and yet never really be a part of them. I feel like this sometimes.
And then, my friend Nace called from upstate NY to tell me Prince had died. Suddenly. The flu, or so they said. He was a mystery in life, he'll be a mystery in death. I don't think we'll know why his heart stopped. But I am sad that there will not be any more genius, funk, sentimental piano or shade to discover. Quiet moments when I want to feel, think, get the tears out.
I've been in shock for the last 3 days. I loved him since 1979. That's pretty much my whole life since I'm closer to 50 now. That was the beginning. This man was the soundtrack to my life. I have often said if I had some type of production company, I would name it Two Twins & A Bull. Why? For Prince (Gemini), Stevie Nicks (Gemini) and Billy Joel (Taurus.) The three artists who make me laugh, think, feel and cry. Musical talents in their own world, reflecting us.
Recently, I dyed my hair lavender and mint green. I had to. Everything I am finding is some shade of purple. I'm not looking for it, it's just a reminder. It's there. I didn't go looking, I just found it. I loved purple as a child, even drew a self-portrait and colored my face and arms with a purple crayon. My art teacher loved it, my teacher kinda frowned. Sorry, I had to be me, even then.
I'm going thru the videos, the musical catalog and finding how wonderful it all is. Sad, too. But thank you, Mr. Nelson, for being a part of my life. I love purple even more.
