Happy Birthday George!



Well, today would have been Balanchine's 100th birthday had he not died in 1983. I sit here writing this with Hindemith's score to "The Four Temperaments" in my head. Dark, swirling music, filled with mystery, layers and grief. "Sanguinic", the best part in my opinion, was always the "shifty" pas de deux with kicks, bourrees, stops, fits,and starts. All in perfect line with the music. I fondly remember "Dance in America" on channel 13 and seeing Merrill Ashley sail through this variation. Her hands actually hitting the tip of her toe shoe as she high-kicked the over-extended grande battements. I leaped for joy when I found a cd copy of the score sitting in a bin in an old record store. It was quite a find.



I was focused on tap more than ballet in 1983, and was tickled pink to see Gregory Hines (my dancing hero) in a Fairy Tale Theater production of "Puss in Boots". Between Hines, the Nicholas brothers in "Stormy Weather", and talk of a new broadway show called The Tap Dance Kid in production for 1984-85 (I read A&E even then), I leaned toward black shiny shoes that made noise more than pink satin silence. I had my "Nutcracker" moments here and there, getting away with flat ballet slippers whenever I could, and then Balanchine died. Right then and there, I realized my mistake: I could never audition for him. I would never visit the School of American Ballet, never take part in summer classes. I don't want to say my dream died, because I loved ballet with all my heart (I still do.) Yet I knew this long sinewy form would not fit me. I was already growing into a Vegas show-girlish figure trying break dance moves and Bob Fosse. Jazz and tap pulled my attention away from tutus, rosin, and rhinestone tiaras. I might have tried channeling Chita Rivera, but I knew I'd never be a swan. But oh, just one class, wouldn't it have been nice?



I didn't know what to do with Mr. B's choreography. I didn't understand what I was looking at. I was 20 years old before I understood "Agon" or "Apollo." I was 22 before I gasped out loud of the cleverness of "Divertimento No. 15". I was 25 when I sat with a comped ticket at the New York State Theater and laughed for the first time at the sheer joy and silliness of "Stars and Stripes." A ballet to Sousa??!!! Danced with all the classicism of "Swan Lake"??? That's brilliant!!



And now, I understand him more than ever.



I was an ABT devotee since Gelsey and Misha became de rigeur in 1977, and her book chronicles the many problems she encountered with Mr. B. But one book does not tell the whole story. In the last 12 years, I have amassed an incredible collection of dance biographies and autobiographies of those who worked with Balanchine: in the pit, in the studio, on the stage, with the costumes. He was funny, fierce, brilliant, vengeful, angry, silent, boisterous, creative, unforgiving, and generous all in one. He was us, really, trying to make something that would last out of nothing. "God creates, we assemble, " he once said. And that's true.



Until I see "Four Temperaments" again. Then I know for certain his assembly is not (and never could be) my own.



I would like to think, with all the things I've learned about him, that he is free and Mourka, his beloved orange cat, sits with him while he gives class (in regular pants and penny loafers) to the angels. There's got to be some party going on up there. With Stravinsky at the piano of course!



Happy Birthday George. I wish I had done more tendus...