My aim is true

I'll quote Elvis Costello, since Presley never did a damn thing for me. My city, having been overrun with various zealots and right-wingers, is now clear and free to assess the damage left by the RNC. The spin, the ugliness, the demon lurking behind the mask.



"For all those whose cares have been our concern, the work goes on, the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die."



Ted Kennedy said that in August 1980 talking about the core values that made up the Democratic party. I recently saw the full broadcast on a CNN talk show. I was only 8 when this speech was made, and we (Mom, Dad, cats, and I) generally ignored political television. Dad watched the debates, Mom read the papers, and I was made fun of mercilessly for having Ted's same famous last name. Well, I have never been so riveted by a broadcast from almost 25 years ago.



This section of his speech is oft-quoted, and I know and understand how much the shadow of JFK looms over the heads of Democratic candidates. Kerry has even been accused of sounding like one of them. I write this with great fear, because I feel he cannot win.



This past week showed me the invasive power of 'image' and 'spin' and I must say, Bush's speech was certainly strong. No verbal gaffes as usual, but I turned off the tv at 11:16 pm last night when he mentioned 9/11 one last time. The third anniversary is on its way, and my life as a New Yorker has changed drastically. Some people have returned to my life to brighten it (thank you, Andrew and Ann), and some are no longer here (Wick, Dan, Lou.) I am steadfast in my belief that what these pundits stand for is not the face of the Republican party. I am also doubtful that Kerry can really save us, but I know Nader is a joke.



He is like a pair of expensive shoes: you see them, they fit, you buy them. Somehow, they never make it out of the box often enough to wear regularly unless you've got nothing else. So, they are worn only 5 or 6 times before you forget about them permanently.



I am afraid. For the future of my life in this town, and that no one will uphold my beliefs and protect the joys that I cling fast to, as I sit, struggling mightily to tread water in the city I love while swimming with sharks. My teeth and claws have been worn down by the current, and I would like to rest.



But I can't.



An interesting interview last night with Rickie Lee Jones, one of my favorite songwriters, caught my attention with one phrase: "The strength of our democracy is only as strong as its voices of protest." Ken Paulson did the interview on a public access channel, and I am happy to say he let her speak. There was a minimum of 6 questions, and only 2 anecdotes on his part, and she did not fail to entertain. A recent NY Post article asked Jones pointed questions about Iraq, Bush, and the state of the country. What was not revealed was that her life was threatened. Yes, I am saying this woman with the little girl voice from out in space playing a guitar received death threats in the mail and on her answering machine. Can we really expect any less from Rupert Murdoch and his clan? Of course not. That's why my father hated working for him so much.



Jones's daughter was the one who lived with the fear of losing her mother, and this girl is only 16. Kudos to Paulson for letting her talk at length, from everything about Joni Mitchell, Laura Nyro, Van Morrison, her new website, "Chuck E.'s in Love", and the state of the country in which we live. She was not frightened by such threats.



"I'm willing to put it out there and live with it," she answered. When did conscience become a brave act and a threat at the same time? Am I missing something?



It was soothing to hear her speak. How many times have I played The Magazine solely to tune out and relax? I've even quoted her lyrics here on this blog. This woman's a threat? Why on God's green earth is this administration shoveling democracy (or something masquerading like it) into other countries while chipping away at its very foundation here?



Using Madison Square Garden as a backdrop to, let's face it, POLITICIZE 9/11 is an act of defiance and insult to those of us who were there. I vividly remember sitting across the street from Lincoln Center watching people run in all directions. I don't even remember how I got up there from Rockefeller Center, but we had to evacuate, and my day was changed totally. I was literally trapped in Manhattan for 5 hours until 2 buses and 3 trains kept chugging along to get me home.



And for those of you who are sick of my politics, fuck you. I did everything I was supposed to, went to school, worked part-time (when someone would hire me), got two college degrees. My taxes are now shouldering the burden of someone's yacht payment and ski trip. Someone who'll never know what it's like to be cold, scared, hungry and poor. Guess what? Neither one of my parents saw more than $50,000 in their working lives without a second job or severe overtime. And now that's been taken away, too. They sent me to private schools because they had no faith in the public school system. And NEITHER DO I. They were smart.



In the midst of mobster's daughters, fur coats, maids and trust fund nose-jobbed brats, I had a ball sneering at them. Why? Because I worked HARD and they didn't even know--weren't raised to know--what that meant. I knew with perserverance, I could have those same things. Now? I have doubts. I am simply a cog in the wheel. The world is a much different place.



For those of you sitting around, complacent and ignorant I ask you: is it a choice or could you do more? Will you do more? Or have you simply given up? The struggle ain't worth much these days, but I'll be damned if I stop now. The burden is greater, the threat darker, the truth hidden. Where are my dreams? Out of reach and out of sight, Teddy. I can't afford them. Couldn't when I was a child, can't now, either.



And please, no backbiting, no backstabbing, no colorful commentary. I don't wanna hear it. You want to blog and leave bullshit messages in my emails and answering machine? "DELETE" is my magic word. Stand for something or you'll fall for anything. Get off your asses and make a choice.



"Well, I'm not gonna vote because it won't make a difference."



A friend of Andrew's said that to me last week. With that attitude, you might just pack it all in right now. Fear and anger are powerful motivators. Apathy? Complacency? Don't come to me for sympathy, you've got no idea how loud I'll shriek at you.



I have seen you walking in the rain/and I wanted to know why you were crying/I wanna fix what's wrong...



Can we, Rickie? I hope so. I really hope so.