The Power of La Luna

Well, we're in Pisces now. My horoscope's moved to the top left of many newspapers, and we're also in a waning moon. Very strange dreams have plagued me in my flu-ness, but I was not prepared to dream of the same thing that Ben in HBO's Carnivale saw on the seat of his truck: the tarot card depicting the moon.

This card represents Pisces, and it's a shape-shifting kind of thing. The traditional portrait is a moon, split into a crescent with a face, overlooking a stream, a mountain, a dog and a wolf howling underneath the moon's face. Ben is on his way to find his destiny. The joy of watching this character is his dark gift. For every broken soul he breathes life into with a touch of his hands, there is a death, a wilting, to balance the scales. He is trying to find his father, his maker, and ultimately to understand this dark gift. Obstacles block him in this quest left and right. He's become shrewd, obsessed, and aggressive to get past all these things. I might have to, as well. Oh boy.

My soothsaying never ends: I predicted all along that Bag of Rocks was simply biding his time and I was right. He's retiring this summer. I knew all along the distinct whiff of "I don't care" was not just him having a bad day. He's jumping ship. I was right about the two princesses, I was right about the uselessness of their replacements (although I do dig one newbie--she just rocks), and I was right about him basically "yes-ing" everyone and everything to death. I also stated that my department would be completely dismantled and folded into digital. I think I'm right. The writing is on the wall for my job to disappear by the end of this year. I have no faith that they'd find me a position without a severe pay cut, which will basically put me on line at Social services for food stamps. I did not go to college for this.

My instincts have been correct so far, though. I feel I'll be out of here by June, perhaps before Bag of Rocks leaves. I certainly hope so. Finding a strategy is key. I've got no connections and no one to get me in the door, other than a few agencies. Like my co-worker, I might have to jump ship even if it isn't in my field, just my price range. I need money right now badly. I'm off to H&R Block tomorrow to see what I can get, but I feel like I'm sinking. I'm still shaking and weak from being sick, but it's more than that.

What the hell am I here for? Is this just a game? Am I a queen, a knight, or just a pawn? Who the hell's going to answer this question?

Che mal a fortuna.