Fukitol

That's the pill I need, starting at the medium dosage for a day like today. The only thing that is truly making me laugh is a very silly site called funnyjoke.com, courtesy of RD. Click, it's a gem!

Kitty Cat Dance

Ah, the power of photoshop with animation.

Baldo did not come in. So much for his bullshit "Be Here At 8:30 Because I Said So, and I AM GOD" decree. No one was on the floor, and I picked up the phone just to see if there was a dial tone, it was so quiet. Authoritarian powermongering narcissist. We're filled to the friggin' gills up here with 'em. One of them left today to transfer to a different department. Good--let someone else suffer. These people want me to bend to their every whim? Nope, I turn to ice. I was not made to supplicate and tap dance on a dime. The Rockettes, maybe, but not me, kiddies! My nickname, courtesy of my father, was "The Queen." A very famous fight from 1986 gave me this splendid moniker.

After another knock-down drag-out fight in the kitchen of 6B, the apartment from hell, the battleground erupted over the lack of food in the fridge, Taffy's illness, my staying up late, wearing too much makeup, and me bitching him out after a particularly messy hangover for which I was blamed (HAH! He's hung over, it's my fault? Nuh Uh!!!)and gave Dear Old Dad all the ammunition he needed to blurt out the most famous sentence ever....

"You think you're a Queen, don't you? You're worse than your mother AND the fuckin' cat! I swear!!!" ****insert slamming door here***

I smirked and stood my ground. Unbeknownst to me, my neighbor, who was around the same age as me, heard this argument from the hall window, adjacent to my kitchen. She told a guy named Herbie, who told my friend Dawn. Herbie and Dawn became an item for a short while in the Summer of '86. My neighbor was NOT happy, since that was her boyfriend, but at that point, it was Dawn and not me who specialized in terrorizing people. I was shocked when a few weeks later I complained about some piddling thing and she made a mocking British accent..."What dyoo think y'are? A QUEEN?"

I was taken aback. Where the hell did she get that from?

It was Herbie, she said to me. Herbie, of course, heard it from his girlfriend, my neighbor. OUT THAT DAMN KITCHEN WINDOW.

The Queen stuck as a nickname for a loooong time. I won a Halloween costume contest one year, and I acquired a full set of "queens" for my chess set. No knights, no pawns, no kings. Just queens. Took me a few years to fill all those squares.

I had a good laugh over this when I stood in front of Buckingham palace with a friend back in 1999--it was deja vu. I swear I knew St. James's Park backward and forward. Spooky, indeed.

I've always been inspired by three famous female monarchs: Victoria, for her love of cats; Elizabeth, for her longevity and cunning; and Catherine, for pretty much everything she did. Colorful women who learned to circumnavigate the stupid men who had "divine" inspiration to rule and "fix" things, since women couldn't possibly be that smart.

HAH.

If Baldo calls tonight, he's gonna get a voice mail. I'm outta here at 5:30, my usual time.