Just checked my email, slept late today. Went out with my queens and had a ball yesterday. We didn't get drenched, but it was certainly emptier than last year.
Today is day 4 of my doctor-imposed exile. Friday was a good day, but I didn't finish cleaning like I wanted to. The weekend was too busy, and today I felt kinda blah. Can't beat myself up over such simple things, I think moving forward from here is the only way to go. I do want to visit the zoos this week--Staten Island (like I did with my mother during my Bensonhurst years), Central Park, Coney Island's aquarium. Bronx just seems like trying to travel to the moon without a passport. My life has been devoid of joy for so long that I even question its existence.
Yesterday was a true reminder that honest spirits find each other. My gaudy humor and over-the-top ways amused all I came near, and we howled with laughter, drank and danced. A lovely respite, indeed.
My little almanac says "Listen to the sea" for today's date. So, I'm hopping on a bus, going past my old neighborhood, and will go near the Boardwalk. Maybe the ocean will calm my imbalanced emotions. I really am all over the place lately. It's hard trying to give a damn when it's obvious the people you work with really don't give a rat's ass about you.
I deserve this week. Why I'm having guilt pangs for taking off is beyond me. It's not my job to save empty people. I can only save myself.
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